20
Oct
how can I move on, when I’m still in love with you?
~the Script
i love this song so much. I can’t stop listening to it… how about a little ‘fiction’ story?
“what am I doing? it’s already over a year passed away, but the glimpse of his smile, his comfort, his laugh, is still dangling in my head” said a girl.
She has a new boy, a nice polite kind boy. “dear voice, please let me ease my heart”. a little wish to purify her mind from the shadow of V.
A million times she said to herself, “I’m so over him, I don’t care anymore about him, I don’t want to know him anymore, He is a jerk, and I will never ever be with him again”.Yes girl, you have succeeded in brainwashing yourself, for a while.
Until you understood that your little tiny heart finally outburst your mind games. “Is it because I’m feeling alone, or it’s truly my heart that speaks to me?”
She doesn’t know and doesn’t want to know, whether she still loves V or not. But somehow, she felt that her relationship with this boy, is also to help V to forget her. Apart from her responsibility to this caring boy. She knows that she and V cannot be together at that time, or maybe never. She knows that V is not going to stop because V knows her too well. An action out of the ordinary must be taken, or the prolonging agony will continue until whensoever.
Now she assumed, this fluctuating feeling is the screaming little heart that is trying to tell her the reason she left V. It’s because she cares too much about V, until the stupidity came, and took her logic away. She let herself to sank with the egoistic aura of the present caring boy. That was the best help she could get at that time, and she was not that strong enough to be her true self.
“Is it possible that if one day I wake up and find out that I’m missing V, if I go back to that corner, will I find you there?” Yes, it would be wonderful.
She still thinks that it is better this way, not to harm each other further more. Living our lives without crossing @each others, she’s too afraid to hurt each other more. She just know, she cannot be with V. There are too much disappointment. Too much uncontrollable actions that is unrepairable. The scar is far too deep. She needs time to heal. She knows that she and V is just too similar and too different at the same time. “We just can’t be one.”
But what will be of the caring boy? That is a question that still cannot be answered. Until now, she is still trying to love that boy. She’s still die trying. It’s hard to force feelings. It’s so hard. It’s almost impossible. Back again, it’s so darn not the right thing to do towards the boy. Still, what she’s doing is to protect, maybe herself from V. She knows V too well. She cannot afford to cross her life with his.
What’s done is done… Now she can only see V from afar.
It’s good if V finally meets a U.
She is quite sure that she can finally smile, seeing V happy.
Why is it V? Because it’s from Violet. and in Indonesian it’s called Ungu…
Ungu Violet.
